If we ever meet face to face, you will immediately notice something wrong with my left eye. It’s a lighter shade of blue than my right eye and it lacks a defined pupil. Within the iris, you’ll see wisps of white, resembling clouds floating across the sky.
I’m legally blind in my left eye. I always thought it was silly people call it “legally” blind. You’re either blind or you’re not. Between you and me, I hope to never become “illegally” blind in that eye; I wouldn’t fair well if I had to live my life on the lam!
As you can imagine, grade and high school kids were relentlessly cruel to me about it. Now I think my eye is exotic and really cool looking, but kids made me very self-conscious about it when I was younger. My Mom, sensing my misery, took me to the eye doctor to see if anything could be done to help. Remarkably I qualified for one of their cosmetic contact lenses (it was a big technological advancement back then). It was a cool process, the eye doctor took a series of pictures of my good eye, and then their artistic team printed that image on a soft contact lens. The end result was amazing, I put on the cosmetic contact lens and my blind eye automatically looked like my good eye! It wasn’t perfect, as I would venture in and out of buildings, my good eye’s pupil would dilate accordingly to the light, whereas the cosmetic pupil was only a picture, so it would stay the same size. I freaked out a few people who didn’t understand why my pupils were different sizes…..I must have looked like I was on some groovy drugs……I found my inside joke hilarious.
I had some crazy adventures with my new cosmetic lens. One late night, I was coming home from a friend’s house, and wanted to get ready for bed. My bathroom door was unusually closed. I knocked, didn’t hear an answer, so I slowly opened the door. The door opened a couple inches when it hit something. I was able to peek inside to see my sister’s boyfriend, had passed out drunk, in front of my bathroom door.
I was a bit irked at first but couldn’t stay mad…..I mean…..I’ve passed out drunk on many a bathroom rug in my day…….I know how it is…….you get drunk at a party and stumble into the bathroom to use the toilet…..and while you’re sitting there you start thinking, “Wow…that bathroom rug looks REALLY comfortable…..maybe I should lay down……just for a minute.” The next thing you know you’re passed out on the rug’s fluffiness and monopolizing the bathroom for the remainder of the night. Yup, I’ve been there done that!
Since my bathroom was blocked, I walked down the hall to use my Dad’s bathroom. My contact solutions for my normal and cosmetic lens were also in my bathroom so I had to use the old stand by “fill-a-glass-with-water-and-plop-both-contact-lenses-in-the-glass” method. I finished washing my face and brushing my teeth so I headed to bed.
The next morning I groggily walked into my Dad’s bathroom to fetch my contact lens. When I got to the sink I noticed the glass I put my contacts in was still on the counter, but the water (and my lenses) were gone……all gone.
Freaking out I charged into my sister’s bedroom and woke her up by screaming, “WHERE’S THE WATER???!!!! WHERE’S THE WATER?????!!! WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THE WATER!!??”
Discombobulated, Michelle slowly sat up and asked what the hell I was talking about. I explained how I found her boyfriend passed out in front of my bathroom door, so I had to store my contacts in a glass of water, which was now gone. Turns out, Michelle got up in the middle of the night, went to the bathroom, grabbed the glass, and having no knowledge of my contacts, drank the majority of the water, and dumped the rest down the drain.
We both BOLTED to my Dad’s bathroom, frantically searching for my contacts. The contact lens for my good eye obviously enabled me to see, and the cosmetic lens for my bad eye cost thousands of dollars. We needed to find both lens and find them FAST. Luckily we found the contact for my good eye. Get this, somehow, someway; it got stuck to the INSIDE of the sink drain, towards the top. The lens was barely hanging on. If either of us had turned on the faucet, it would have been flushed to no man’s land!
We had called my Mom during our search and she instructed us to tear the bathroom apart. We dismantled the sink but much to our dismay, the cosmetic lens was nowhere to be found. The lens was either flushed down the drain, or Michelle swallowed it. Mom was livid, and understandably so since the lens was expensive. In hindsight, I could have avoided this dilemma if I had put the glass on the nightstand next to my bed, instead of leaving it on the bathroom counter. Of course at 3AM in the morning, young adults don’t pay much attention to hindsight……
The next thing I knew, Michelle was alternatively trying to make herself throw up and go to the bathroom. Mom ordered her to puke or pee/poop out my contact lens. I watched Michelle suffer for a good 10 minutes before I said, “Don’t bother Michelle, anything that comes out of your stomach or ass, is not going back into my eye.”
That took a minute to sink in….then we burst into hysterics for 10 minutes. Goodbye cosmetic lens, I hope you’re having amazing adventures, wherever you !
So, my sister’s boyfriend passed out on my bathroom rug…so you KNOW he had a serious hangover in the morning! I don’t know about you, but when I’m hungover, I crave spicy Mexican food!
These mini Empanada’s are amazing. They are little bites of spicy perfection!
There’s a lot of steps in this recipe, but they are simple. Plus, you can make the dough cups and the Empanada filling a head of time! I had leftover Empanda filling so I froze it. The following week I thawed it in the fridge overnight, and the next day I spooned that tasty filling into flour tortillas, topped it with tomatoes, avocado, and cheese, and had myself a tasty tasty dinner!
This recipe is great for a tapas themed dinner night, a book club, or any kind of party. They go fast so make plenty!
And no worries if your dough cups turn out a little wonky looking. The picture above shows my dough having some issues. Instead of a cute cup shape, it looks like a weird “V”. Dough is my Achilles Heel, so my dough is ALWAYS misshapen. I say who cares if it looks weird as long as it tastes good!
- 4 medium yellow potatoes, peeled and diced.
- ½ of a sweet onion, diced
- 15 oz chorizo, removed from casing
- 1 tablespoon of oregano
- ½ cup of cilantro, chopped.
- 4 oz of cottage cheese
- 1 package of puff pastry sheets (I used both sheets), thawed
- 8oz chihuahua cheese
- A handful of spinach or arugula
- Olive Oil
- salt and pepper
- Your favorite Mexican hot sauce (or buffalo sauce, or normal hot sauce) (optional)
- In a food processor, blend the cottage cheese until it's creamy. Don't be alarmed if it thickens up a little. Transfer to a bowl, cover, and store in the fridge until needed.
- DO AHEAD: Thaw the puff pastry for approximately 45 minutes at room temperature.
- Preheat your oven to 375 degrees.
- Grease a mini muffin pan with a vegetable spray or olive oil.
- On a floured surface, roll out the pastry dough into a 18x9 inch rectangle. Cut the pastry into approx 18 (3-inch) squares. Gently press the pastry squares into the mini muffin pan. Prick the center of each pastry with a fork a couple of times, and bake them in the oven for 10 minutes, or until the pastry is golden brown. Pull them out of the oven. When the pastry dough is cool enough to handle, take each pastry out of the mini muffin pan, and let completely cool on a wire rack.
- In the meantime, heat a skillet on medium-low heat (no olive oil). Cook the chorizo until it's oils have separated from the meat, and it's fully cooked, approx 10-15 minutes. Remove the chorizo from the pan and put it on a plate, set aside.
- While the meat is cooking, steam the potatoes in the microwave until just tender, this will help speed up the potato cooking time tremendously!
- In the same skillet, now heat 1 tablespoon of olive oil over medium heat. To the pan add the onion, potato, a big pinch of salt, and dried oregano. Carefully stir the ingredients together. Now cook the onions and potatoes until they are golden brown. Add the chorizo back into the pan with the potatoes and onion. Cover the skillet and cook until the potatoes are tender, approx 10 minutes. Be sure to stir often!
- When the potatoes are cooked (nice and tender), remove the pan from the heat, and add the cilantro. At this time taste for salt and pepper, and add more if necessary.
- Preheat your oven to 375 degrees.
- Line a cookie sheet with tin foil and lightly spray with cooking oil.
- Fill up the cookie sheet with the pastry cups.
- Place a little piece of spinach or arugula in each cup.
- Spoon a little bit of cottage cheese into each cup.
- Spoon a little bit of the Empanadas into each cup.
- Sprinkle a little bit of chihuahua cheese over each cup.
- Bake until the cheese is melted and the Empanda mixture is heated through (approx 5-10 min).
- I had leftover cottage cheese, so I mixed in some Mexican hot sauce, and a few tablespoons (one at a time) of water, until I had a nice sauce consistency. I drizzled that over the bites, this step is optional but it tasted great!
Also, the meat filling mixture freezes really well! If you have more filling than you need, simply spoon the remaining mixture into a plastic freezer bag! The meat mixture can be thawed later and used in a variety of ways later! It would work well in eggs and even tacos!
“I say who cares if it looks weird as long as it tastes good!” That’s what HE said. (LOL!) Good recipe. it’s on my list. I love Mexican food.
Hahahahahaha!!! How bout it Jeanine! I love me some Mexican food too!!!